[ Except it's not easy for him either. It's a topic that he's avoided speaking about even to her, if he was being honest with himself. Regret. Pain. Confusion. Betrayal. Loss. The emotions are all raw and swirling. Maybe some of it is fear that they were going to hit a memory that he can't handle. ]
Maybe the lack of memories is good in this case. I don't know what you do and don't know, but I can't imagine...
[ He sighs, trailing off. Knowing he's just trying to delay the inevitable. ]
You were there. Witnessed Soo won murder your father by his own hand.
There was a coup to put in him power. They tried to murder you too.
[ Of all the things she'd expected to hear--that wasn't it. Not even close. She freezes, and it feels like--her body goes hot and cold and there's a ringing in her ears. A sinking in her stomach.
No. She can't believe that. ]
That's impossible. Soo-won, he's--he's dead.
[ He wouldn't do that. Of all the people in the world who would hate her father--who would destroy him--who would upend both their lives--not Soo-won. ]
[ How many times has Hak wished for his death since that day? So many. But he knows she's in denial right now about it and it will take awhile to sink in.]
He's the King of Kouka. He's very much alive.
[ He knows she's in shock and so he takes thinks as slowly from this point as he can. It's out there for her to process as needed. ]
[ Is her cousin. Was her cousin. Her first love. The only person who had cared enough to try to fill the void that her mother's death had left. She'd loved him. And he gave her that gift.
Hak wouldn't lie, though. Perhaps Soo-won attempted to fill a vacuum? Or he's being used as a puppet by some foreign power? She can't believe, though--won't believe--that he would... that he... ]
It makes no sense. There must be some kind of mistake; Soo-won wouldn't do that to us!
[ Denial, just as expected. It will still be a bit more because it really is something difficult to absorb. He doesn't try to sway her mind and gives her the opportunity to work things out herself.
He just sits there waiting for whatever she needs once reality hits. But he can't tell her what she wants to hear right now.]
[ It’s the tears that break him. Arms wrapping around her gently as he pulls her to him. He knows exactly what she’s thinking because even after all this time, he still wonders the same thing.
Even he wanted this. Just not this way. Why? Why like this? ]
I know.
[That familiar rage starts to well up inside, choking him and clouding his vision.
Not now. Focus on her. Keep your focus on her.
It dampens the bloodlust in his veins but won’t cure it. ]
[ She leans in against him woodenly, whispering--more for herself than for him. ]
It can't be. It just can't.
[ There's no power to the words, though: just a token resistance. Somewhere her mind is filing this away as a truth that she'll have to come to terms with eventually--but for right now she needs this. Both his support, which she gradually curls herself up against and this crutch she can provide herself. ]
[ Eventually the fire starts to go down and Hak knows if he doesn't put some more wood on it, it's going to go out. Gently, he scoops her up in his arms and carries her in his arms to gather a couple of logs. When she stirs from the movement he quietly shushes her to soothe her back to sleep.
When he's finally got the fire going again, he settles both of them back down on the ground, Yona on his lap with her head cradled against his chest. Stroking her hair, his lips caressed her forehead before he spoke quietly. He's not sure if she can hear but the words still come out. ]
You'll be okay. I promise. You're the strongest person I know and you struggle and struggle. For me. For our dragons. For Yoon.
For everyone in Kouka.
I can't forgive him. But you...keep moving forward.
[ In the past, during moments like these, she's definitely been asleep. This time, though--although she's definitely quiet and still--she's awake and listening... and really, she can hear him all the better for having an ear pressed right up against his chest.
She doesn't feel strong right now. Right now, she feels--not weak, precisely, but nothing feels quite real. Being like this with him--she feels good. Warm, safe--comfortable. But this is a place that is anything but. And on the other hand, everything that he's told her--about Soo-won at least--that feels... impossible. Fuzzy and distant. To hear someone as strong as him praising her for her strength and resilience--that, too, feels as though the world has flipped itself on its head.
She curls into him a little more, pressing her face against his shoulder. ]
[ He reaches over and takes her hand, lifting it to kiss the back of it before resting both hands between the two of them. He doesn’t let go of his hold. ]
I think it’s your turn. Unless you’d rather I do it.
[ That said--she navigates the phones menus to activate the next memory with more than a little trepidation. What will she see?
It's not so bad--although I'm having trouble getting the source to pull up and I can't tell if it's my net connection or if the website is down. BASICALLY the chunk of time they're in the cave after Princess Tao's hideaway palace burns down. ]
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dragonheartedgirl) wrote2018-11-15 06:18 am
Haku, Post-GM Day 180
I never said it was going to be easy. Whatever it is that you have to say--you should just say it. The longer you draw it out, the scarier it is.
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Maybe the lack of memories is good in this case. I don't know what you do and don't know, but I can't imagine...
[ He sighs, trailing off. Knowing he's just trying to delay the inevitable. ]
You were there. Witnessed Soo won murder your father by his own hand.
There was a coup to put in him power. They tried to murder you too.
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No. She can't believe that. ]
That's impossible. Soo-won, he's--he's dead.
[ He wouldn't do that. Of all the people in the world who would hate her father--who would destroy him--who would upend both their lives--not Soo-won. ]
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He's the King of Kouka. He's very much alive.
[ He knows she's in shock and so he takes thinks as slowly from this point as he can. It's out there for her to process as needed. ]
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[ Is her cousin. Was her cousin. Her first love. The only person who had cared enough to try to fill the void that her mother's death had left. She'd loved him. And he gave her that gift.
Hak wouldn't lie, though. Perhaps Soo-won attempted to fill a vacuum? Or he's being used as a puppet by some foreign power? She can't believe, though--won't believe--that he would... that he... ]
It makes no sense. There must be some kind of mistake; Soo-won wouldn't do that to us!
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He just sits there waiting for whatever she needs once reality hits. But he can't tell her what she wants to hear right now.]
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and she's not above begging while crying. ]
Hak.... Hak, please....
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Even he wanted this. Just not this way. Why? Why like this? ]
I know.
[That familiar rage starts to well up inside, choking him and clouding his vision.
Not now. Focus on her. Keep your focus on her.
It dampens the bloodlust in his veins but won’t cure it. ]
I’m here.
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It can't be. It just can't.
[ There's no power to the words, though: just a token resistance. Somewhere her mind is filing this away as a truth that she'll have to come to terms with eventually--but for right now she needs this. Both his support, which she gradually curls herself up against and this crutch she can provide herself. ]
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As I said before, you were there. Witnessed the whole thing. That's going to be a memory regain you'll eventually have.
Maybe it's conceited of me...but I think you needed to hear from me and not find out that way.
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When he's finally got the fire going again, he settles both of them back down on the ground, Yona on his lap with her head cradled against his chest. Stroking her hair, his lips caressed her forehead before he spoke quietly. He's not sure if she can hear but the words still come out. ]
You'll be okay. I promise. You're the strongest person I know and you struggle and struggle. For me. For our dragons. For Yoon.
For everyone in Kouka.
I can't forgive him. But you...keep moving forward.
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She doesn't feel strong right now. Right now, she feels--not weak, precisely, but nothing feels quite real. Being like this with him--she feels good. Warm, safe--comfortable. But this is a place that is anything but. And on the other hand, everything that he's told her--about Soo-won at least--that feels... impossible. Fuzzy and distant. To hear someone as strong as him praising her for her strength and resilience--that, too, feels as though the world has flipped itself on its head.
She curls into him a little more, pressing her face against his shoulder. ]
You never praise me this much.
[ And there's that, too. ]
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In the past, maybe.
[ Change is inevitable after all they have been through together. ]
I guess it's a relatively recent thing. You've gotten pretty cool.
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[ However, that's not a criticism. It's not as though she'd done much before recently to deserve being praised--as selfish and silly as she was. ]
I could get used to it. Does that mean I'll need to keep getting cooler?
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[ She just gets better and better. Right now, she just needs his support. He's not going anywhere.]
I'm sorry everything happened like this.
[It's not his fault. But still. This wasn't easy to break to her. ]
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I asked you to tell me, didn't I? You didn't do anything wrong. If anything... if you hadn't told me... I would have been upset.
[ Although she is still hoping against hope that somehow he'll be proved wrong. ]
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It's not going to be easy no matter how you found out. Still, I stand by knowing that hearing it from me would make it easier.
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Do we keep going?
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I'll leave that up to you. If you want to move forward and learn more, we can stay right here.
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I'd like to learn more.
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I think it’s your turn. Unless you’d rather I do it.
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[ That said--she navigates the phones menus to activate the next memory with more than a little trepidation. What will she see?
It's not so bad--although I'm having trouble getting the source to pull up and I can't tell if it's my net connection or if the website is down. BASICALLY the chunk of time they're in the cave after Princess Tao's hideaway palace burns down. ]